Sunday Night Jitters

I feel silly, but Sunday nights seem to be having a recurring theme. It's those damn nerves.

Again, I feel silly.

I've always dealt with nerves of some form or another when it comes to going to school. Always. They aren't completely terrible on Sunday nights because on Sunday nights, I at least still have the rest of the evening and night to enjoy not being at school. The butterflies start kicking into overdrive when I pull into the Goslin parking lot. I don't have a real good reason that I can think of to blame these nerves on, but here's a few I can list:

>> I admit, I don't have many friends at Oglethorpe. I didn't at Berry either, and it was much worse then. But I don't, and that's the plain and simple truth. It doesn't bother me, though. Social situations terrify me more than the upcoming oral presentation in Core. The thing is, I am completely okay with it because I prefer being alone and having my distance anyways. So I always get nervous that I may be thrown into a social situation, which then throws me into panic mode. [[ie. last week I went down into the lounge to help one of my brothers with his lab report and there was another guy down there who happens to be the son of my chemistry professor. For whatever reason it might have been, halfway through helping him I could feel my skin start to burn and could feel myself getting red. Sure enough, when I left and headed to my car I looked in the mirror and I was absolutely COVERED in red hive splotches. Caused by nerves. All I can say is thank god I had a scarf that I could wrap around my neck and chest until I left.]]

>> I'm always afraid that I'll do or say something stupid in class. If there is one thing that I hate in the world more than anything is being laughed at, but usually only by people who I'm not really good friends with [I mean, it's completely different when I'm around my best friends and do something stupid and we all have a laugh... I still turn beet red with embarrassment, but it's better than getting laughed at by strangers.] This particular fear of doing something stupid usually happens on Tuesdays and Wednesdays when I have Physics and Chemistry lab. Physics lab scares me for a list of reasons that would be suitable for a-whole-nother blog. Chemistry lab scares me because it often tends to deal with flammable chemicals and fire. And because I had a traumatic experience with high school Chemistry so all around, I just kind of hate it.

>> I have tests coming up that I am terrified of. Physics is one of them. I'm terrified because last semester, the highest grade I made on any of the tests was, like, a 50 or something. Even though I came out of the class with a C+. I have a lab quiz in Biology, which isn't bad because it's open note and open book and we (supposedly) are going to get to work together on it too. Then a lecture quiz, but that shouldn't be terrible either. I just have a shit-ton of work to do in order to prepare for them. Next Monday, however, I have a lab practical which is a big deal and there's so much material to cover. You just wait until next Sunday night.... oh boy.

>> We're dissecting frogs tomorrow. I mean come the freak on, I've been dissecting stuff for the past three weeks and I'm used to the smell and the grossness. I dunno. I just get really nervous. Again.

That's all I can really think of as far as reasons why I get so nervous so easily, but I'm sure if I wasn't getting anxious about doing work and stuff tonight I could think of more.


Bah. I need to quit being so whiny all the time.