Chest is loosened, but only slightly.

2:16 am

Phew. Genetics lab report has been cranked out and finished. And I must say, I feel like I did a pretty damn good job. Hell I feel almost as good as I did when I wrote my first paper for the Nazi lady... then I got it back and got a D on it so. y'know. Shit happens. This is only a first draft of it though. We get to do a resubmission if there's anything wrong with it.

That was only one of a MOUNTAIN of stresses I have on my mind right now. The biggest one, for sure, is my long speech coming up in just two short weeks. The next one, which should be my biggest stress right now, is the looming Genetics test on Wednesday, followed soon after by the next paper due for the Nazi lady on Friday.

But, now is not the time to talk about that because I am kind of short on time and am too tired to give an in-depth bitching about everything that's going wrong in my life right now... it's rather late and I'm due to wake up in just a couple of hours. So much for trying to get back into a routine of sleeping normal hours.

However, I am trying to have a new attitude in dealing with all the daily calamities so starting now, I will begin a list of things that I use, or have used in the past, to de-stress with:

1. the absolute best de-stressor right now is Joel. He is beginning to move into my heart and take on a large part of my life. When I'm with him, nothing in the world matters.

2. naughty time with Joel. ;) Seriously though, I was talking to Tori's mom the other day and she said that consistently having intimate sexy time is not only a way of connecting with someone on a different level, but is a way to alleviate stress. Physical contact in a close proximity is one of the most comforting things you can provide for your body. Plus, he's rather enjoyable. ;)

3. my Andrew Johnson apps on my phone. They're all geared toward helping cope with stress, and I listen to them often. I actually have one now that's supposed to help with the fear of public speaking, but I haven't been able to sit and really listen to it yet. Plan on doing that every day until my speech starting tomorrow.

4. showers and putting on lotion afterwards. I'm definitely the type of person who heavily relies on a touching sense. Kissing me on my neck is one of the biggest turn ons for me, followed closely by gently grabbing my face and caressing my neck. So hot showers definitely have an affect. Plus I try to take some extra time to rub my feet when I'm putting on lotion when I get done.

5. this blog. Even though I haven't written in a while, it's almost like having a shrink who doesn't talk back. And I can cuss as much as I want. damnshitfuckingcunt. But really, it's nice to have an outlet to vent.

6. napping. This one can get me in trouble, though, seeing as I tend to over-nap. If I lay down to power-nap, it's game over. Rarely have I ever successfully taken a nap in under an hour... try 2-3 hours.

And there are more, but I will add to the list as I go. It's late (damn, 2:30 already... ugh.) and I have to get up early to get to school early so... I gotta run.

:D

A Shitty Cap to a Magical Weekend.

1:09 am

When driving, I've hit a rabbit, a squirrel, and a possum before.

Tonight, it was a deer.

Fucking mutilated Bambi on Hugh Howell Road. And my car got banged up pretty bad too. When it happened, I was really just all shook up so I turned around and went back to Joel's house and sat there hysterical for a little bit. I didn't see it on the road on the way back into Tucker. Then he followed me home and talked to my dad for a bit while they looked at my car and stuff. Really, it could be worse and I know that it could have been so much worse... but I just cannot even begin to describe how I feel right now. I don't know if it's sad or anger or guilt or what.... my stomach is in a knot right now and I still feel like I'm going to throw up. I guess part of that could be because I didn't eat dinner, but I'm not hungry right now. I have a feeling tonight's gonna be a long night, so maybe I can eat later. Tomorrow, of all things, I have an anatomy exam. Which I have not studied for hardly at all this weekend because I was too busy being all goopy-in-love kind of stuff at Joel's house because his family was in Cali for the weekend. I was just trying to have a good time since I hardly ever get to see him during the week, unless it's in the wee hours of the morning. I guess this is just what I get for deliberately ignoring that little inner voice telling me to go study all weekend.

Life is hard.