Cat Piss and Double Cleavage

DISCLAIMER: The following entry contains an event with explicit details regarding bodily fluids and functions of a felis domesticus, or more commonly known as a bastard house cat who pisses everywhere and on everything.


As soon as I opened the door into the foyer today, a wall of pungent cat odor smacked me in the face and literally knocked me back a step. Thoroughly disgusted, I walked a few steps down the hallway and the heater blew a draft into my face, laced with the piss smell. I wanted to vom. There was a passage of clean air between the foyer and the kitchen, but once I got in the kitchen a second wave of the smell crashed over. After regaining the briefly lost consciousness, I set my stuff down on my stairs and walked back into the kitchen to find the source of this displeasure. I felt like I was walking through the gas chamber that they make people go through in boot camp, except I didn't get a gas mask. I couldn't find it but then I had a bigger dilemma. Having not eaten anything yet today, I was starting to get a rumbly in my tummy. But in order to fix it, I would have to a) find something to eat, and b) eat it in the kitchen because I don't want bugs in my room. So I found some frozen stuff that I threw in the microwave and, as gross and nasty and crippling as it was, I ate my lunch with the cat piss smell wafting around my head. New high or low?

ps. this is how my dad deals with these kinds of situations. Guess who never changed my diaper as a baby?



Anyway, so I ate in peace and never found the source(s) of the stench but I did march straight upstairs to take a shower immediately afterwards. Just in case.


So yesterday I totally forgot to mention the events of Friday night, which would have still made the update a day late, but it's better late than never, right? Anyway, so Friday night we were at Roy's house and all the guys were there and stuff. I left kind of early because I was bored because I couldn't drink and because watching the same four people play four games of beer pong gets old quick. The next morning, I see status updates about "the guys got caught by the man," and "yep, that just happened." So I could only imagine....... Turns out, after I left they all went to Steak n' Shake and something happened (I can't get a straight story out of anybody) but a big fight broke out between Roy and Jon and another one of their friends and Roy and Jon ended up spending the night at DeKalb. Red and David's asses were thisclose to going with them too if they hadn't had enough sense to leave when they saw punches being thrown... granted they had stay for a bit to do their manly-man duties and make sure the guys didn't need backup.... Apparently it was, like, 8 guys against Roy, Jon, and the other dude. But whatever. It's their own fault. I'm just glad I didn't stick around long enough to get dragged into going too.

Earlier Friday evening, I discovered a new talent. It's kind of like in the Dane Cook movie Good Luck Chuck, that girl that has the three boobs thing.


Not even kidding.