10:58 am
idk. I'm in a good mood right now.
For whatever reason.... the next month is going to be crazy busy. Somehow, though, when I put my calendar on my desk and look at it as a whole and can see all the deadlines and stuff... it puts me at ease. Maybe that's part of my OCD that kicks in. But it's calming. Comparatively speaking, on Sunday night I was started to freak out about everything because it was the end of Spring Break and I hadn't done any work over the week and I knew there was a bunch of shit that needed to get done, but Monday I sat down and marked down every single thing that needs attention and I felt better.
Except a lot of the stuff I don't wannnnnaaaaa dddddooooooo :(
But my birthday is in 28 days. So that's always awesome.
The plan is that on my actual birthday, I'll go to class (its the last day of school, psht) and then for lunch, I'm going to go to Sangria's and have me a fattening lunch and a margarita. Mmmmmmmmm margaritas. :]
Exercise for today has been abruptly cancelled due to a last minute meeting set up. Which sucks because I feel like I was starting to get back on track with walking and eating right. If it's not one thing it's always another. I've got it narrowed down to just a few critical components that I need in order to have a successful weight loss:
1. track food intake. There's an app on my phone that I can do this with and it shows me the daily calorie budget and you can enter in how much exercise you get.
2. cardio exercise. Walking, running, climbing stairs, anything that gets your ventricle pumpin'. (bonus points for anatomy reference :] )
3. drink lots and lots and lots of water. It flushes you out and makes you feel full (and can settle a grumbling tummy if there's still an hour or so to go until lunch)
4. stop eating when you get full. Just because there's still half of a 14 oz. salmon filet left on your plate does not mean that you have to shovel the rest of it down when you start to feel that tightness in your abdomen (like I did at dinner last night......) Wrap it up and save it for lunch tomorrow.
5. pay attention to portion sizes and, if possible, use measuring cups and spoons to get more accuracy. This can be difficult because you always think that you can eyeball a serving, but it's really more difficult to get accurate with that method.
And there are probably a couple of other things too. But those are 5 key components that I have to follow for success. It always seems like I can only get 3 or 4 of the 5 done in a day and make it habitual. Like I said, if it's not one thing it's another. Today I've tracked my food and brought two extra bottles of water (4 and 5 don't really apply until dinner because I usually have a fixed breakfast and lunch). I was planning on walking at Lenox today when I went to go get lunch. Now that I have a very inconvenient meeting set up right at noon, it'll cut my lunch hour and I won't have time. Usually I leave campus a little before 12, get to lenox by 12 or a little after, walk until 12:30, eat lunch and leave by a little after 1 because I have a 1:30 class. I suppose I could try to squeeze it in after my afternoon class or do something after dinner.
bah. oh well. I'm still in a good mood :]
March 31, 2010
March 28, 2010
Bah, Humbug
11:57pm
I so do not want to go back to school tomorrow. Already. Spring Break went by too fast and was filled with too little adventure. Except the last couple of days. From Thursday until now it seems like everything worth doing on Break was done. But that's no different than a normal weekend, so it feels like for the first half of the break all my time was wasted.
Part of the reason I don't want to go back is because of all the work I have coming up in the next month:
- physics test in a week
- biology lab work in the field (tomorrow, blegh)
- 2 biology lab reports
- core presentation
- physics project
- biology project presentation
Then there's all the fundraising crap for PhiDE. Another round of tabling begins this week so I need to figure out when I can squeeze that in. This weekend is our big fundraiser for the skydiving event, which I am totally not interested in going to whatsoever. First of all, it's Easter weekend so the girl who planned it either has no family or does not pay attention to her calendar when planning things like this. Second of all, the event is happening a-fucking hour's drive away. Third, I just don't want to go hang out with all the brothers all damn day like that. Another fundraiser thing coming up in a couple weeks is Relay for Life, which I absolutely do not want to do because we actually have to participate in the event. Like, walk around the track for an hour. Granted, even my lazy fatass can do that because walking for an hour isn't terrible difficult exercise. I just don't want to do it.
Wow, I whine a lot.
At least at the end of this month's time span, it'll be my 21st birthday. I already have it planned, on my actual birthday I'm going to get Tori and go eat lunch somewhere (potentially P.F. Chang's, but more likely Sangria's or something) and by god I will have me a cocktail or two.
So that'll be my mantra for the next four weeks. Hopefully it'll fly by.
I miss Red right now too. Even though I spent the night with him and saw him all weekend. I've kinda been a bitch to him lately, but I'm stressed out and it just seemed like he's been pressing every single wrong button when I see him. It's just frustrating when I feel like the thing he looks forward to the most is the sex. Which is part of the reason why we haven't done it in so long because I'm just trying to prove my point. I'm waiting for the opportunity to prove it to him as well as myself.
I think I just need to get me some happy pills. Maybe they'll make me nice :]
I so do not want to go back to school tomorrow. Already. Spring Break went by too fast and was filled with too little adventure. Except the last couple of days. From Thursday until now it seems like everything worth doing on Break was done. But that's no different than a normal weekend, so it feels like for the first half of the break all my time was wasted.
Part of the reason I don't want to go back is because of all the work I have coming up in the next month:
- physics test in a week
- biology lab work in the field (tomorrow, blegh)
- 2 biology lab reports
- core presentation
- physics project
- biology project presentation
Then there's all the fundraising crap for PhiDE. Another round of tabling begins this week so I need to figure out when I can squeeze that in. This weekend is our big fundraiser for the skydiving event, which I am totally not interested in going to whatsoever. First of all, it's Easter weekend so the girl who planned it either has no family or does not pay attention to her calendar when planning things like this. Second of all, the event is happening a-fucking hour's drive away. Third, I just don't want to go hang out with all the brothers all damn day like that. Another fundraiser thing coming up in a couple weeks is Relay for Life, which I absolutely do not want to do because we actually have to participate in the event. Like, walk around the track for an hour. Granted, even my lazy fatass can do that because walking for an hour isn't terrible difficult exercise. I just don't want to do it.
Wow, I whine a lot.
At least at the end of this month's time span, it'll be my 21st birthday. I already have it planned, on my actual birthday I'm going to get Tori and go eat lunch somewhere (potentially P.F. Chang's, but more likely Sangria's or something) and by god I will have me a cocktail or two.
So that'll be my mantra for the next four weeks. Hopefully it'll fly by.
I miss Red right now too. Even though I spent the night with him and saw him all weekend. I've kinda been a bitch to him lately, but I'm stressed out and it just seemed like he's been pressing every single wrong button when I see him. It's just frustrating when I feel like the thing he looks forward to the most is the sex. Which is part of the reason why we haven't done it in so long because I'm just trying to prove my point. I'm waiting for the opportunity to prove it to him as well as myself.
I think I just need to get me some happy pills. Maybe they'll make me nice :]
March 22, 2010
SBX
1:11pm
It's only a couple of days into Spring Break and I'm already feeling the effects of what I was dreading most about it.... boredom. There certainly are plenty of things that need doing, like cleaning my room.... or cleaning my room.... That doesn't really need doing so bad... not that messy.
But I am quite bored.
I suppose I could go try to be an overachiever and do some schoolwork.... but what's the point? The purpose of Spring Break is to break away from the stresses of school for a few days and go do something else. I just don't know what that something else is. School is my life and whenever it's not going full throttle, I get thrown off track and don't know what to do. Right now, it's absolutely zero throttle (if anything, we're slammed on the brakes). It sucks too because everyone else has stuff to do during the day. Red's at work all day, Tori's at school because she doesn't have a spring break, my parents are off doing god knows what all day. School is my job and whenever there's a leave from my job and I don't have any real vacation planned, I'm at a loss for something to do.
I do have goals for this week, however. Even though I've learned very well recently that I suck at keeping and reaching any goals that I set. But this week I was planning on doing some form of exercise every single day. Friday I went running. Saturday I played golf. Sunday the weather was super, duper crappy and rainy so I stayed in. And today it's effing freezing cold (I heard that there were snow flurries in Marietta this morning) so I probably won't get out today. There's a treadmill in the office that I could go walk on, but Dottie's in there still recuperating from surgery and idk if it would freak her out or not. I could always just suck it up and go pay the $15 for a Wii sensor replacement and get back into my Wii Active. What better time than now to go get one? I've been thinking about doing it forever.
Perhaps I'll go later today. I lucked up and got ushered in for one of the afternoon massages today, from 3:30-4:30. So that'll be nice.
I have a feeling I'm gonna become.... re-become a FarmVille junkie this week. I've already been playing a lot lately, but now that there isn't really anything else to fill out my day soooo..... yeah.
I should probably go shave my legs now. Last time I had a massage, I hadn't shaved in about a week and I felt just awful for the lady.
It's only a couple of days into Spring Break and I'm already feeling the effects of what I was dreading most about it.... boredom. There certainly are plenty of things that need doing, like cleaning my room.... or cleaning my room.... That doesn't really need doing so bad... not that messy.
But I am quite bored.
I suppose I could go try to be an overachiever and do some schoolwork.... but what's the point? The purpose of Spring Break is to break away from the stresses of school for a few days and go do something else. I just don't know what that something else is. School is my life and whenever it's not going full throttle, I get thrown off track and don't know what to do. Right now, it's absolutely zero throttle (if anything, we're slammed on the brakes). It sucks too because everyone else has stuff to do during the day. Red's at work all day, Tori's at school because she doesn't have a spring break, my parents are off doing god knows what all day. School is my job and whenever there's a leave from my job and I don't have any real vacation planned, I'm at a loss for something to do.
I do have goals for this week, however. Even though I've learned very well recently that I suck at keeping and reaching any goals that I set. But this week I was planning on doing some form of exercise every single day. Friday I went running. Saturday I played golf. Sunday the weather was super, duper crappy and rainy so I stayed in. And today it's effing freezing cold (I heard that there were snow flurries in Marietta this morning) so I probably won't get out today. There's a treadmill in the office that I could go walk on, but Dottie's in there still recuperating from surgery and idk if it would freak her out or not. I could always just suck it up and go pay the $15 for a Wii sensor replacement and get back into my Wii Active. What better time than now to go get one? I've been thinking about doing it forever.
Perhaps I'll go later today. I lucked up and got ushered in for one of the afternoon massages today, from 3:30-4:30. So that'll be nice.
I have a feeling I'm gonna become.... re-become a FarmVille junkie this week. I've already been playing a lot lately, but now that there isn't really anything else to fill out my day soooo..... yeah.
I should probably go shave my legs now. Last time I had a massage, I hadn't shaved in about a week and I felt just awful for the lady.
March 19, 2010
Ah Phooey
10:24am
So I skipped Physics. I'm an epic failure. It was pure laziness that kicked in this morning. As the alarm clock began buzzing at 6:45, I reached over and hit snooze. For the next 30 minutes worth of snoozing, I realized that I just did not want to have to hassle with my contacts or do my hair or makeup or get dressed or anything (sorry, vanity is my sin.) So I was just like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu** it, I'm sleeping in. Then when I woke up, it felt like it was about 1:30 or so... just one of those feelings. But it was only 10. So that was a pleasant surprise.
but in other words, LET THE SPRING BREAK DEBAUCHERY BEGIN.
So I skipped Physics. I'm an epic failure. It was pure laziness that kicked in this morning. As the alarm clock began buzzing at 6:45, I reached over and hit snooze. For the next 30 minutes worth of snoozing, I realized that I just did not want to have to hassle with my contacts or do my hair or makeup or get dressed or anything (sorry, vanity is my sin.) So I was just like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu** it, I'm sleeping in. Then when I woke up, it felt like it was about 1:30 or so... just one of those feelings. But it was only 10. So that was a pleasant surprise.
but in other words, LET THE SPRING BREAK DEBAUCHERY BEGIN.
March 18, 2010
The Eve of Spring Break
10:38pm
I made my Bio test my bitch today. Idk about Core because I feel like I was very short-spoken but possibly covered all of the main ideas. Well for the most part.
So SBX has unofficially started since all of my major responsibilities are over with. The only thing I have left tomorrow is a Physics class at 9:00... which I don't want to go to but I did make it my personal goal to quit skipping that class. Plus, I have to sign up for a project for Bio by tomorrow, so I might as well go.
Also, so far I have kicked my stepmother's ass at scrabble four times in a row... about to be # 5.
victory. :]
I made my Bio test my bitch today. Idk about Core because I feel like I was very short-spoken but possibly covered all of the main ideas. Well for the most part.
So SBX has unofficially started since all of my major responsibilities are over with. The only thing I have left tomorrow is a Physics class at 9:00... which I don't want to go to but I did make it my personal goal to quit skipping that class. Plus, I have to sign up for a project for Bio by tomorrow, so I might as well go.
Also, so far I have kicked my stepmother's ass at scrabble four times in a row... about to be # 5.
victory. :]
March 17, 2010
It's only one of my favorite days of the year
9:58am
I'm at the point where I'm concerned that I overdid the amount of green I have on so I keep constantly checking myself in the mirror, but it keeps reassuring me that it's actually just the right amont. I have a kelly green t-shirt, a lime-ass green purse, lime green necklace, and eyeshadow by the name of 'lucky charms' (mixed in with gold and stuff too...)
I can't even give a real reason why I love St. Patty's day as much as I do. I'm probably only, like, 1/10th Irish anyway... but that's better than nothing.
Anyhoosiers, I have a very important chemistry lab report that I have to go type up before class... which makes me angry with myself because I'm usually on top of all my lab reports and get them done within a couple of days after being assigned it. I've been slacking lately, but it's probably due to Spring Break, which starts in less than 48 hours.
ps. I got a 98 on my Core test. Make that 4 for 5 A's in my classes with B trailing not far behind.
:D
10:15pm
Guh. Mood= not so great right now. It's nothing that I can really talk about either... even though I'll probably give in and vent about it next free chance I get.
Right now, though, I have to go study and drink caffeine and make my stomach turn knots for tomorrow's exams in Core and Biology. Back-to-back.
at least my coffee tastes good.
I'm at the point where I'm concerned that I overdid the amount of green I have on so I keep constantly checking myself in the mirror, but it keeps reassuring me that it's actually just the right amont. I have a kelly green t-shirt, a lime-ass green purse, lime green necklace, and eyeshadow by the name of 'lucky charms' (mixed in with gold and stuff too...)
I can't even give a real reason why I love St. Patty's day as much as I do. I'm probably only, like, 1/10th Irish anyway... but that's better than nothing.
Anyhoosiers, I have a very important chemistry lab report that I have to go type up before class... which makes me angry with myself because I'm usually on top of all my lab reports and get them done within a couple of days after being assigned it. I've been slacking lately, but it's probably due to Spring Break, which starts in less than 48 hours.
ps. I got a 98 on my Core test. Make that 4 for 5 A's in my classes with B trailing not far behind.
:D
10:15pm
Guh. Mood= not so great right now. It's nothing that I can really talk about either... even though I'll probably give in and vent about it next free chance I get.
Right now, though, I have to go study and drink caffeine and make my stomach turn knots for tomorrow's exams in Core and Biology. Back-to-back.
at least my coffee tastes good.
March 15, 2010
Beware the Ides of March
11:16am
So I totally have a fighting chance at getting all A's this semester if I keep up the pace and quality of work I've been doing so far. Except Biology, I'll probably be vying for a B, which is absolutely acceptable too. I just gotta keep things in control. I keep an Excel workbook of all my grades and so far I have a steady A in Physics, an A in Chemistry Lab, an A in Physics lab, and a B+ish in Biology. I have no clue about Core because M. Smith has had our gd tests for, what, three weeks now? Nearly a month? We have another one this Thursday so maybe we'll have them back before then so I'll have some clue about how I'm doing...
With the extra credit tacked on to the Physics test, it bumped it up to a 91.
Which gives me goosebumps thinking about it. Hell, even in high school I never did that well in Physics. Of course my final grade in the class was a 79.48-something and the bitch wouldn't round it up which gave me the only C I ever earned in high school......... then I hit college and that's another ballgame but.... still. An A in Physics.
I feel like I have my head on straight for the first time in three years.
***
9:34pm
Wow I am so not used to this time change yet. And to have slept as crappy as I did last night, I'm not terribly tired right now, so that means I'll likely be up late. But at least I have my productivity cap on :]
I went walking at Stone Mountain today after I got home from class. Definitely needed that. I tried alternating jogging but I started feeling like what I imagine a heart attack feels like so.... that's not good. Gotta start slow. I'm hoping to maybe make it out there every day this week. Wednesday it's supposed to rain so we'll just have to see on that one.
Tomorrow is Tuesday and we all know I would ordinarily be extraordinarily grumpy, except we don't have Physics Lab tomorrow. HOOOOOORAY! It's supposed to be a research week for our project... which we kinda need to get started on. But I have way too much other crap to worry about this week.
I've been having a huge guilt on my shoulders all day because I still feel bad for Saturday night. There's a portion of the night that I don't remember, like whenever Red wanted to leave. It scares me... blacking out scares me. There are too many things that need to be kept in my head that could so easily slip out. I'm trying to shake it off and I hope that if I write about it here, it'll lighten up a little bit.
Gah.
At least I've made a significant dent in the workload for the Biology test on Thursday. Well... it feels significant. There's no such thing as studying too much for Biology. After I finish the review sheet that Dr. Baube gave us, I'm hoping to make some flashcards. Then there's the Core test too.... I don't even know what to say about that yet, seeing as I haven't read anything in that class yet this semester. But I'm certainly not the only one.
Tomorrow is dad's birthday. He's still a young'in... only gonna be 49. At least that's younger than his son-in-law. :] PhiDE had terrible timing with our next speaker because he's coming to talk tomorrow night and it's right at the most inconvenient time on a birthday.... 7:30pm so we either have to eat early or late.
This is probably going to be the most random-ass blog ever, but that's just how my mind works.
While I was walking today, I started thinking about stuff. Lots of things have been bothering me lately, but it's things that cannot be helped. Things that I brought upon myself in the past and have to live with the demons of them now. But that's another story. While I was walking, I realized how little I smile now. Genuinely smile, that is. I can smile and smile and smile all day, but it's never a genuine one. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm necessarily unhappy because I'm not. I am a happy person... compared to a couple of years ago. I temporarily fixed everything back then and put them in the back of my mind and things began to fall into place again. But I never seem to genuinely smile anymore. This is a realization that hit me Saturday night (before the drunken pissing of the pants and all that crap). Something happened that made me genuinely smile, but for the life of me I cannot remember what it was. It was a fleeting moment, but it happened and I knew it was genuine because it felt different than the regular smiles I'm used to. It felt so real. And I just wish I could figure out how to get it back and make it stay.
hm.
So I totally have a fighting chance at getting all A's this semester if I keep up the pace and quality of work I've been doing so far. Except Biology, I'll probably be vying for a B, which is absolutely acceptable too. I just gotta keep things in control. I keep an Excel workbook of all my grades and so far I have a steady A in Physics, an A in Chemistry Lab, an A in Physics lab, and a B+ish in Biology. I have no clue about Core because M. Smith has had our gd tests for, what, three weeks now? Nearly a month? We have another one this Thursday so maybe we'll have them back before then so I'll have some clue about how I'm doing...
With the extra credit tacked on to the Physics test, it bumped it up to a 91.
Which gives me goosebumps thinking about it. Hell, even in high school I never did that well in Physics. Of course my final grade in the class was a 79.48-something and the bitch wouldn't round it up which gave me the only C I ever earned in high school......... then I hit college and that's another ballgame but.... still. An A in Physics.
I feel like I have my head on straight for the first time in three years.
***
9:34pm
Wow I am so not used to this time change yet. And to have slept as crappy as I did last night, I'm not terribly tired right now, so that means I'll likely be up late. But at least I have my productivity cap on :]
I went walking at Stone Mountain today after I got home from class. Definitely needed that. I tried alternating jogging but I started feeling like what I imagine a heart attack feels like so.... that's not good. Gotta start slow. I'm hoping to maybe make it out there every day this week. Wednesday it's supposed to rain so we'll just have to see on that one.
Tomorrow is Tuesday and we all know I would ordinarily be extraordinarily grumpy, except we don't have Physics Lab tomorrow. HOOOOOORAY! It's supposed to be a research week for our project... which we kinda need to get started on. But I have way too much other crap to worry about this week.
I've been having a huge guilt on my shoulders all day because I still feel bad for Saturday night. There's a portion of the night that I don't remember, like whenever Red wanted to leave. It scares me... blacking out scares me. There are too many things that need to be kept in my head that could so easily slip out. I'm trying to shake it off and I hope that if I write about it here, it'll lighten up a little bit.
Gah.
At least I've made a significant dent in the workload for the Biology test on Thursday. Well... it feels significant. There's no such thing as studying too much for Biology. After I finish the review sheet that Dr. Baube gave us, I'm hoping to make some flashcards. Then there's the Core test too.... I don't even know what to say about that yet, seeing as I haven't read anything in that class yet this semester. But I'm certainly not the only one.
Tomorrow is dad's birthday. He's still a young'in... only gonna be 49. At least that's younger than his son-in-law. :] PhiDE had terrible timing with our next speaker because he's coming to talk tomorrow night and it's right at the most inconvenient time on a birthday.... 7:30pm so we either have to eat early or late.
This is probably going to be the most random-ass blog ever, but that's just how my mind works.
While I was walking today, I started thinking about stuff. Lots of things have been bothering me lately, but it's things that cannot be helped. Things that I brought upon myself in the past and have to live with the demons of them now. But that's another story. While I was walking, I realized how little I smile now. Genuinely smile, that is. I can smile and smile and smile all day, but it's never a genuine one. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm necessarily unhappy because I'm not. I am a happy person... compared to a couple of years ago. I temporarily fixed everything back then and put them in the back of my mind and things began to fall into place again. But I never seem to genuinely smile anymore. This is a realization that hit me Saturday night (before the drunken pissing of the pants and all that crap). Something happened that made me genuinely smile, but for the life of me I cannot remember what it was. It was a fleeting moment, but it happened and I knew it was genuine because it felt different than the regular smiles I'm used to. It felt so real. And I just wish I could figure out how to get it back and make it stay.
hm.
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