11:32 am
Frankly, nothing has gone right in the last couple of months. Not even the one thing that really makes me happy by spending time with him. More on that later.
I'm just not havin' it now.
I want to run away from everybody and everything.
September 27, 2010
September 20, 2010
God Bless the Power of Xanax
12:57 am
So. The short talk is tomorrow. In 16 hours to be exact. Right at this EXACT moment, I'm not nervous. No stomach aches. No vomit coming up in my throat. No racing heart.
See blog title.
I had several fits of hysteria on Friday night because I was just absolutely dreading Monday because of the short talk. Lots of crying got done (but it was good... like I said in a recent post, I believe in the power of a good cry every once in a while). All day Saturday I was mopey and didn't really enjoy myself at the car show. Today I woke up and felt like breaking down again and ultimately did when I went and talked to my stepmom about it. She told me that she would give me two Xanax pills, one to take today and see how it affected me, and one to take tomorrow for the speech. So I took it today around 4:00 and... well I didn't feel significantly different. Definitely was mellow for the afternoon. I kept assessing myself to see if it had worked and every once in a while, I would start thinking about the speech and... nothing happened. No reaction. Ordinarily when I think about it, it feels like a feather runs up and down my spinal cord and my stomach clenches up a little. But nothing really happened. It was quite nice that, for once, I had an afternoon where I wasn't stressing out over... everything. I think it might be starting to wear off a little bit now... it's been 9 hours. I'm still chill right now and when I think about doing the speech, the spine thing doesn't happen. The only thing I worried about all day was worrying if it would work on my worry tomorrow. Lol.
I can't remember if I've already blogged about this or not, but Friday I had a really, really brief presentation to give in Core. I figured if anything, it could be used as a warm-up for the short talk on Monday. When I walked into the room, I was fine except for the alternating clenching and fluttering of my stomach. I sat down and as soon as she started calling the roll, it felt like the room spiked about 20 degrees because I knew that my presentation would follow right after roll. Somewhere in the G's, I could start to feel my heart beating... in my throat. It felt like my eyes were starting to bug and I knew my face was already starting to turn red. Finally, when she told me to go up there and do it, something inside me burst. When I stood up, I felt my body moving, but it felt like I was still sitting in my seat. I didn't breathe until I got up to the podium. When I finally got there and started talking, I didn't look up at the class hardly at all, maybe two or three times. I read from my paper and played with my fingers and rocked on my heels. The whole time, I felt like I couldn't breathe... but I probably wasn't breathing so... y'know. Finally it was over and I walked back to my seat. After about 5 minutes, I felt better... My heart had quit beating in my ears and my neck and I felt the redness and the splotches leaving my face and chest. And that was that. Less than 5 minutes and I panicked that bad. The one tomorrow is 15 minutes.
I told Joel about it, and he told me to get Xanax. I told my hairdresser later that day, and she told me to get Xanax. I told Victoria, and she told me to get Xanax (or get drunk and go do it). I told my stepmom, and she laughed at me. Which sent me rolling into the crying Friday. Nobody in my family knows what happens to me when I'm thrown into a situation like that (be it social or just doing a presentation). It's one of the worst feelings in the world. It's hard to describe, other that just pure awful. Panicky. It's awful to feel so helpless.
So anyway, after making a fool of myself in from of Terri, she finally suggested that I take the pills. So I did. And here we are.
I just hope it works tomorrow.
***
11:36am
The stomach clenching is back. Five hours to go until the speech. I'm just psyching myself out, I know it's gonna be okay because I have my paper to read from and I have my happy pill.
This morning in the dragon lady's class, my group got picked to act out a skit about RNA processing or some bullshit. Cue new nerves.
Bleh. Hell week was supposed to be over after the speech today. I'm thinking it won't be though...
So. The short talk is tomorrow. In 16 hours to be exact. Right at this EXACT moment, I'm not nervous. No stomach aches. No vomit coming up in my throat. No racing heart.
See blog title.
I had several fits of hysteria on Friday night because I was just absolutely dreading Monday because of the short talk. Lots of crying got done (but it was good... like I said in a recent post, I believe in the power of a good cry every once in a while). All day Saturday I was mopey and didn't really enjoy myself at the car show. Today I woke up and felt like breaking down again and ultimately did when I went and talked to my stepmom about it. She told me that she would give me two Xanax pills, one to take today and see how it affected me, and one to take tomorrow for the speech. So I took it today around 4:00 and... well I didn't feel significantly different. Definitely was mellow for the afternoon. I kept assessing myself to see if it had worked and every once in a while, I would start thinking about the speech and... nothing happened. No reaction. Ordinarily when I think about it, it feels like a feather runs up and down my spinal cord and my stomach clenches up a little. But nothing really happened. It was quite nice that, for once, I had an afternoon where I wasn't stressing out over... everything. I think it might be starting to wear off a little bit now... it's been 9 hours. I'm still chill right now and when I think about doing the speech, the spine thing doesn't happen. The only thing I worried about all day was worrying if it would work on my worry tomorrow. Lol.
I can't remember if I've already blogged about this or not, but Friday I had a really, really brief presentation to give in Core. I figured if anything, it could be used as a warm-up for the short talk on Monday. When I walked into the room, I was fine except for the alternating clenching and fluttering of my stomach. I sat down and as soon as she started calling the roll, it felt like the room spiked about 20 degrees because I knew that my presentation would follow right after roll. Somewhere in the G's, I could start to feel my heart beating... in my throat. It felt like my eyes were starting to bug and I knew my face was already starting to turn red. Finally, when she told me to go up there and do it, something inside me burst. When I stood up, I felt my body moving, but it felt like I was still sitting in my seat. I didn't breathe until I got up to the podium. When I finally got there and started talking, I didn't look up at the class hardly at all, maybe two or three times. I read from my paper and played with my fingers and rocked on my heels. The whole time, I felt like I couldn't breathe... but I probably wasn't breathing so... y'know. Finally it was over and I walked back to my seat. After about 5 minutes, I felt better... My heart had quit beating in my ears and my neck and I felt the redness and the splotches leaving my face and chest. And that was that. Less than 5 minutes and I panicked that bad. The one tomorrow is 15 minutes.
I told Joel about it, and he told me to get Xanax. I told my hairdresser later that day, and she told me to get Xanax. I told Victoria, and she told me to get Xanax (or get drunk and go do it). I told my stepmom, and she laughed at me. Which sent me rolling into the crying Friday. Nobody in my family knows what happens to me when I'm thrown into a situation like that (be it social or just doing a presentation). It's one of the worst feelings in the world. It's hard to describe, other that just pure awful. Panicky. It's awful to feel so helpless.
So anyway, after making a fool of myself in from of Terri, she finally suggested that I take the pills. So I did. And here we are.
I just hope it works tomorrow.
***
11:36am
The stomach clenching is back. Five hours to go until the speech. I'm just psyching myself out, I know it's gonna be okay because I have my paper to read from and I have my happy pill.
This morning in the dragon lady's class, my group got picked to act out a skit about RNA processing or some bullshit. Cue new nerves.
Bleh. Hell week was supposed to be over after the speech today. I'm thinking it won't be though...
September 16, 2010
There's a rumbly in my tumbly
4:20 pm
And it's not because at Mexican last night.
Actually I didn't eat Mexican, but I was just trying to make a point. :)
I am absolutely, positively D.R.E.A.D.I.N.G next Monday. I have to do my short talk for Bio Seminar. Short being 15-20 minutes. Doesn't seem so short to me... I have two potential articles picked out that I can talk about. I honestly didn't have any idea what topic I wanted to do so after a near-breakdown last night, I spent some time browsing through online journals to try and find some topic of interest. I finally found something about alcohol consumption in college students, so I used that in my search on Galileo. Now I just need to go see the Dragon Lady and make sure the topic is appropriate. And then write a 15-20 minute speech. And then vomit some.
Good news, though, my Core paper is DONEZO. I cranked it out Tuesday, had it revised Wednesday and completely finished it with all the corrections made at about 4:30 this morning. Much to my surprise, the guy in the writing center said that it was a very good paper and had a strong critical analysis. So woo for me. I just hope the Nazi Lady likes it.
From now on, Dr. Holmes is the Nazi Lady and Dr. Schmeichel is the Dragon Lady. It's appropriate.
Last night I went to bed at 8 and woke up at 1. I tried going back to sleep but couldn't, so I worked on my paper and finished my 5 minute precis speech for the Nazi Lady's class tomorrow (another eek, but it's only 5 minutes. That pales in comparison to the BioSem one) Got to sleep around 6 and slept until noon. I'm pretty sure my body is in some sort of shock mode right now. I usually alternate nights that I get sleep... LIke one night will be three hours and the next will be 10 and back and forth. Maybe if I keep it up I'll have a real breakdown by Monday and won't have to give my speech! :) Kidding.
Kind of.
So anyway. I'm on campus today because I have to go to an extracurricular movie at 7 for the Dragon Lady's class. It's the Michael Moore movie, Sicko. I've seen it before and enjoyed it so it shouldn't be too terrible. I just hate being here on my off days. I came here early so I could print off the articles and make the final-final revisions and email it to the Nazi Lady. I really need to read for Anatomy & Genetics. Two and a half hours to kill.
I hope I get to see the boy tonight. I felt awful that I was too tired to do anything last night. Maybe tonight..... ;)
And it's not because at Mexican last night.
Actually I didn't eat Mexican, but I was just trying to make a point. :)
I am absolutely, positively D.R.E.A.D.I.N.G next Monday. I have to do my short talk for Bio Seminar. Short being 15-20 minutes. Doesn't seem so short to me... I have two potential articles picked out that I can talk about. I honestly didn't have any idea what topic I wanted to do so after a near-breakdown last night, I spent some time browsing through online journals to try and find some topic of interest. I finally found something about alcohol consumption in college students, so I used that in my search on Galileo. Now I just need to go see the Dragon Lady and make sure the topic is appropriate. And then write a 15-20 minute speech. And then vomit some.
Good news, though, my Core paper is DONEZO. I cranked it out Tuesday, had it revised Wednesday and completely finished it with all the corrections made at about 4:30 this morning. Much to my surprise, the guy in the writing center said that it was a very good paper and had a strong critical analysis. So woo for me. I just hope the Nazi Lady likes it.
From now on, Dr. Holmes is the Nazi Lady and Dr. Schmeichel is the Dragon Lady. It's appropriate.
Last night I went to bed at 8 and woke up at 1. I tried going back to sleep but couldn't, so I worked on my paper and finished my 5 minute precis speech for the Nazi Lady's class tomorrow (another eek, but it's only 5 minutes. That pales in comparison to the BioSem one) Got to sleep around 6 and slept until noon. I'm pretty sure my body is in some sort of shock mode right now. I usually alternate nights that I get sleep... LIke one night will be three hours and the next will be 10 and back and forth. Maybe if I keep it up I'll have a real breakdown by Monday and won't have to give my speech! :) Kidding.
Kind of.
So anyway. I'm on campus today because I have to go to an extracurricular movie at 7 for the Dragon Lady's class. It's the Michael Moore movie, Sicko. I've seen it before and enjoyed it so it shouldn't be too terrible. I just hate being here on my off days. I came here early so I could print off the articles and make the final-final revisions and email it to the Nazi Lady. I really need to read for Anatomy & Genetics. Two and a half hours to kill.
I hope I get to see the boy tonight. I felt awful that I was too tired to do anything last night. Maybe tonight..... ;)
September 13, 2010
Sunday (Monday?) Blues
2:03 am
Phew. Just got done reading for Core. Well all but the last 5 or so pages... it started getting complicated and I was losing interest fast so I just kinda skimmed them. I'm kiiiiiinda caught up in that class. I need to skim through everything that's highlighted in the next day and try to figure out something to write my paper on. It's due Friday. Dreading that. But then again, I've talked to people who have had Dr. Holmes and they said that she usually chews up the first paper but if you show progress by the last paper, then she goes easier on you and it's easier to get a better grade on it... I hope so.
The only thing I've got on my plate that is absolutely freaking me out is the short talk for Bio Seminar next Monday. I still need to go find something to read, read it, and write up a speech/powerpoint presentation on it and get ready to talk about it for 20 minutes on Monday. ABSOLUTELY dreading that one. I hate speaking in front of people. I would rather sit through a root canal.
I've had a lot on my mind in the last couple of days. Most of it about school. I'm always wondering and asking myself why in the hell I didn't go to an easier (and cheaper) school. I think it would have been a lot less stressful. I am absolutely the most ridiculous person in the world sometimes. I actually get legitimately, four-year-old child scared of going to school. Unless I know for a fact that it's only a lecture I have to sit through. If I'm going to class and I know it's just a lecture and all I have to do is sit there and take notes, I am absolutely fine. When it comes to labs I'm aiiiight. Much better with Biology labs than Chemistry. Doing real stuff, like doing speeches and crap, terrifies the piss out of me. Anything that requires me to become something other than the fly on the wall that I wish to be make my stomach tremble in nerves. This week in Genetics, we're doing skits to act out DNA replication, translation, and something else. Which is retarded. I fucking hate Dr. Schmeichel purely because she has all this stupid, silly, childish shit that she makes us do. The poem thing was already a disaster and I'm just dreading the skit. Especially with my two partners... whom I don't really care too much for.
If I could do it all again, I would have SO done it differently.
I prayed so hard that the weekend would drag by. I knew I would be having a good weekend, getting time to spend with my lovey-dovey little boy and all. It was definitely an awesome one. Saturday, I went over to his house and watched the Oklahoma (yuck! :] ) football game with him and his mom. Then we got in his '63 Fairlane (which is actually my aunt's old one.. he bought it from her) and drove to Main St. for the Cruise-In. We walked around for a while and then left to go to dinner with his aunt and uncle. It started storming on us at dinner (we were on the outside patio) so we moved inside. Then left to go home but took a detour to Bruster's. All in all, I had a marvelous night. And it wasn't just that I got to do all kinds of fun things. But it's because I got to spend time with him. I genuinely enjoy every single minute that I get to be with him. Y'all, this time it's different. He's different. I'm falling for him and I can't stop myself. And it's scaring me just a little bit how fast I'm falling. I don't want to mess this up. I'd like to go far with this one...
Weight Watchers (oh wait, am I still doing that?? :] ) should be a good one tomorrow night. We didn't weigh in last week, but I've been behaving for the most part. The scale at home is telling me so, at least...
Bah. So 2:20am. Gotta wake up at 7. I'll probably go crawl in bed around 3... A good four hours should do the trick. I have class until 5:45 tomorrow, so it's gonna be a long one. That's another thing I hate about school... long hours. Granted, sleeping in on T/TH is nice... It's hard staying on campus that long on Mondays and Wednesdays. And in class pretty much back-to-back all day. I'll get a good hour and a half for lunch at least...
God what a mopey post. It won't make it much better to whine about going to bed alone... There was one weekend, back when that boy and I first started talking and... stuff... that his mom went to Alabama to see his dad and his aunt and uncle (who live next door) were out at some army thing or something. So he had his house completely to himself and didn't have the neighbors to worry about. So I spent the night on that Friday night. And it was the most glorious Friday night. I love cuddling anyway.... and sleeping with my back up against his chest, wrapped around each other.... it was a magical night. I really hope to be able to do it again. I just don't know when....
Blegh. Now I'm getting upset. Thinking about it. It's almost like separation anxiety. I go to sleep at night hoping that he'll text me in the middle of the night (he kinda stays up late, or falls asleep on his couch and wakes up in the middle of the night to go to his bed). He'll sometimes text me just a little text and most of the time, I hear the dinging sound on my phone so I wake up and respond. During the day, chances are I won't hear from him until 11 or later... that's when I can *safely* pull out my phone in class because Dr. Baube is a G and doesn't care if you have it out in class. [This part really gets hokey and corny] but the anticipation I get when I get my phone and turn on the home screen builds... and it just makes me go through the roof if I see a little red bubble next to my texting icon saying that I have a missed text. I love hearing from him. I love talking to him. I love spending time with him. Every second..
So having his texts makes me feel better. Venting in this blog makes me feel better. Lately I've been getting in touch with my inner Christian and talking to God and that makes me feel better. I have lots of things at my disposal to make me feel better.
I just can't forget that I have them there.
6:46pm
Fuck this day.
Fuck Oglethorpe.
Fuck everything.
Phew. Just got done reading for Core. Well all but the last 5 or so pages... it started getting complicated and I was losing interest fast so I just kinda skimmed them. I'm kiiiiiinda caught up in that class. I need to skim through everything that's highlighted in the next day and try to figure out something to write my paper on. It's due Friday. Dreading that. But then again, I've talked to people who have had Dr. Holmes and they said that she usually chews up the first paper but if you show progress by the last paper, then she goes easier on you and it's easier to get a better grade on it... I hope so.
The only thing I've got on my plate that is absolutely freaking me out is the short talk for Bio Seminar next Monday. I still need to go find something to read, read it, and write up a speech/powerpoint presentation on it and get ready to talk about it for 20 minutes on Monday. ABSOLUTELY dreading that one. I hate speaking in front of people. I would rather sit through a root canal.
I've had a lot on my mind in the last couple of days. Most of it about school. I'm always wondering and asking myself why in the hell I didn't go to an easier (and cheaper) school. I think it would have been a lot less stressful. I am absolutely the most ridiculous person in the world sometimes. I actually get legitimately, four-year-old child scared of going to school. Unless I know for a fact that it's only a lecture I have to sit through. If I'm going to class and I know it's just a lecture and all I have to do is sit there and take notes, I am absolutely fine. When it comes to labs I'm aiiiight. Much better with Biology labs than Chemistry. Doing real stuff, like doing speeches and crap, terrifies the piss out of me. Anything that requires me to become something other than the fly on the wall that I wish to be make my stomach tremble in nerves. This week in Genetics, we're doing skits to act out DNA replication, translation, and something else. Which is retarded. I fucking hate Dr. Schmeichel purely because she has all this stupid, silly, childish shit that she makes us do. The poem thing was already a disaster and I'm just dreading the skit. Especially with my two partners... whom I don't really care too much for.
If I could do it all again, I would have SO done it differently.
I prayed so hard that the weekend would drag by. I knew I would be having a good weekend, getting time to spend with my lovey-dovey little boy and all. It was definitely an awesome one. Saturday, I went over to his house and watched the Oklahoma (yuck! :] ) football game with him and his mom. Then we got in his '63 Fairlane (which is actually my aunt's old one.. he bought it from her) and drove to Main St. for the Cruise-In. We walked around for a while and then left to go to dinner with his aunt and uncle. It started storming on us at dinner (we were on the outside patio) so we moved inside. Then left to go home but took a detour to Bruster's. All in all, I had a marvelous night. And it wasn't just that I got to do all kinds of fun things. But it's because I got to spend time with him. I genuinely enjoy every single minute that I get to be with him. Y'all, this time it's different. He's different. I'm falling for him and I can't stop myself. And it's scaring me just a little bit how fast I'm falling. I don't want to mess this up. I'd like to go far with this one...
Weight Watchers (oh wait, am I still doing that?? :] ) should be a good one tomorrow night. We didn't weigh in last week, but I've been behaving for the most part. The scale at home is telling me so, at least...
Bah. So 2:20am. Gotta wake up at 7. I'll probably go crawl in bed around 3... A good four hours should do the trick. I have class until 5:45 tomorrow, so it's gonna be a long one. That's another thing I hate about school... long hours. Granted, sleeping in on T/TH is nice... It's hard staying on campus that long on Mondays and Wednesdays. And in class pretty much back-to-back all day. I'll get a good hour and a half for lunch at least...
God what a mopey post. It won't make it much better to whine about going to bed alone... There was one weekend, back when that boy and I first started talking and... stuff... that his mom went to Alabama to see his dad and his aunt and uncle (who live next door) were out at some army thing or something. So he had his house completely to himself and didn't have the neighbors to worry about. So I spent the night on that Friday night. And it was the most glorious Friday night. I love cuddling anyway.... and sleeping with my back up against his chest, wrapped around each other.... it was a magical night. I really hope to be able to do it again. I just don't know when....
Blegh. Now I'm getting upset. Thinking about it. It's almost like separation anxiety. I go to sleep at night hoping that he'll text me in the middle of the night (he kinda stays up late, or falls asleep on his couch and wakes up in the middle of the night to go to his bed). He'll sometimes text me just a little text and most of the time, I hear the dinging sound on my phone so I wake up and respond. During the day, chances are I won't hear from him until 11 or later... that's when I can *safely* pull out my phone in class because Dr. Baube is a G and doesn't care if you have it out in class. [This part really gets hokey and corny] but the anticipation I get when I get my phone and turn on the home screen builds... and it just makes me go through the roof if I see a little red bubble next to my texting icon saying that I have a missed text. I love hearing from him. I love talking to him. I love spending time with him. Every second..
So having his texts makes me feel better. Venting in this blog makes me feel better. Lately I've been getting in touch with my inner Christian and talking to God and that makes me feel better. I have lots of things at my disposal to make me feel better.
I just can't forget that I have them there.
6:46pm
Fuck this day.
Fuck Oglethorpe.
Fuck everything.
September 9, 2010
Disappointed
2:37pm
So Dr. Schmeichel gave us a feedback on our poems. Apparently mine just sucked all around and accounts for most of the reason we only got an 85 on it.
She said, and I quote, "It stayed very close to what we had covered in class and was not as original as I had hoped."
This is why I don't do creative writing and stuff like that because I don't handle criticism well, especially when I feel that I did above and beyond what was asked. I was genuinely proud of the poem that I wrote. She's all about doing cheesy, hokey things in class and I think I pretty much covered that. I mean it's a fucking limerick for fuck's sake. And she knows that the shit that she does is silly. She's said it... many times. If I had a nickel for every time in class she said, "I know this is silly and hokey but..."
This is just like last year when we had the Physics poster board project and I BUSTED my ass to get it together since my partner didn't do anything. It looked fucking amazing. And Dr. Cramer did nothing but chew it up and spit it back out and stomp all over it.
So far in this class with the group work, everything I've suggested has gotten shot down. The team names and I suggested were rejected by my group. And now my poem isn't good enough.
Whatever. Little girls cry, big girls say fuck it.
I'm just very upset about it. From all the stories I'd heard about Dr. Schmeichel and the class itself, I knew that it was going to be a miserable ride. I went into it with my head held high thinking that maaaaaaybe it would be different for me. Maybe we'll get along great. Maybe I'll enjoy doing all the stupid little poems and skits and bullshit.
But so far it is not going that way.
So Dr. Schmeichel gave us a feedback on our poems. Apparently mine just sucked all around and accounts for most of the reason we only got an 85 on it.
She said, and I quote, "It stayed very close to what we had covered in class and was not as original as I had hoped."
This is why I don't do creative writing and stuff like that because I don't handle criticism well, especially when I feel that I did above and beyond what was asked. I was genuinely proud of the poem that I wrote. She's all about doing cheesy, hokey things in class and I think I pretty much covered that. I mean it's a fucking limerick for fuck's sake. And she knows that the shit that she does is silly. She's said it... many times. If I had a nickel for every time in class she said, "I know this is silly and hokey but..."
This is just like last year when we had the Physics poster board project and I BUSTED my ass to get it together since my partner didn't do anything. It looked fucking amazing. And Dr. Cramer did nothing but chew it up and spit it back out and stomp all over it.
So far in this class with the group work, everything I've suggested has gotten shot down. The team names and I suggested were rejected by my group. And now my poem isn't good enough.
Whatever. Little girls cry, big girls say fuck it.
I'm just very upset about it. From all the stories I'd heard about Dr. Schmeichel and the class itself, I knew that it was going to be a miserable ride. I went into it with my head held high thinking that maaaaaaybe it would be different for me. Maybe we'll get along great. Maybe I'll enjoy doing all the stupid little poems and skits and bullshit.
But so far it is not going that way.
September 7, 2010
Just feeling kind of... blah
11:27 pm
I think I'm just stressed out right now. I don't really actually FEEL the stress right now, but I have a hunch that it's what's wrong with me. I feel blah right now. There's a lot that is already on my plate and only more is going to be added in the next week.
I have a wildly high expectation of myself in that I will try to get all of the Core readings of Herodotus done tonight before bed. Also, I have two chapters of a book for anatomy I need to read for a quiz tomorrow (but if anything, I can run through those during lunch tomorrow... it'll just be a tight squeeze) I got caught up with a pretty large chunk of work today. Went to the Tucker library and stayed for a good four hours and did mostly Genetics. Finished all the reading and typing up of some summary notes. It's always nice to have stuff from the book typed up... I put it in my dropbox and it syncs to my phone automatically, so I have stuff that I can study on my phone if I'm on the go somewhere. I got through some of the text reading for anatomy (actually I'm pretty much caught up in it) I had a throbbing headache so when 6:00 rolled around I packed up and went back home. All in all, I think it was a successful day for studying.
Next week is when it's gonna start piling on and the real stress is gonna come out. There's a Core paper due next Friday, the 17th, which I am absolutely terrified about. I have no idea what topic to pick to write about. Dr. Holmes has hinted at a few in class but none of them have really caught my attention as being potentially interesting. I'm hoping something will strike me tomorrow or Friday. In the next week, I also have to go find an article to read and write up a speech about for Bio Seminar... my short talk will be on Monday the 20th.
The more time I spend at school and studying, the better of a housewife I think I would make.
Right now, Saturday is the only thing I really have to look forward to pulling me through this week. And the events of Saturday are a big 'if.' Last Saturday, my dinner date with the boy fell through so I wound up getting Chinese takeout and a bottle of wine and watching The Hangover while seething in my pissiness. This Saturday is the very last Tucker Cruise-In of the year and I was told that IF the Maserati is running and everything seems fine, I will be able to ride to the show in the car with him. I just hope nothing falls through because I really have my heart set on going with him and I know that plans can sometimes fall apart... I just have to keep my head up and hope for the best.
And I'm ready for winter. With winter comes hot white chocolate from starbucks and cuddling under a blanket.
And of course weather that's below 80 degrees. Yuck.
I think I'm just stressed out right now. I don't really actually FEEL the stress right now, but I have a hunch that it's what's wrong with me. I feel blah right now. There's a lot that is already on my plate and only more is going to be added in the next week.
I have a wildly high expectation of myself in that I will try to get all of the Core readings of Herodotus done tonight before bed. Also, I have two chapters of a book for anatomy I need to read for a quiz tomorrow (but if anything, I can run through those during lunch tomorrow... it'll just be a tight squeeze) I got caught up with a pretty large chunk of work today. Went to the Tucker library and stayed for a good four hours and did mostly Genetics. Finished all the reading and typing up of some summary notes. It's always nice to have stuff from the book typed up... I put it in my dropbox and it syncs to my phone automatically, so I have stuff that I can study on my phone if I'm on the go somewhere. I got through some of the text reading for anatomy (actually I'm pretty much caught up in it) I had a throbbing headache so when 6:00 rolled around I packed up and went back home. All in all, I think it was a successful day for studying.
Next week is when it's gonna start piling on and the real stress is gonna come out. There's a Core paper due next Friday, the 17th, which I am absolutely terrified about. I have no idea what topic to pick to write about. Dr. Holmes has hinted at a few in class but none of them have really caught my attention as being potentially interesting. I'm hoping something will strike me tomorrow or Friday. In the next week, I also have to go find an article to read and write up a speech about for Bio Seminar... my short talk will be on Monday the 20th.
The more time I spend at school and studying, the better of a housewife I think I would make.
Right now, Saturday is the only thing I really have to look forward to pulling me through this week. And the events of Saturday are a big 'if.' Last Saturday, my dinner date with the boy fell through so I wound up getting Chinese takeout and a bottle of wine and watching The Hangover while seething in my pissiness. This Saturday is the very last Tucker Cruise-In of the year and I was told that IF the Maserati is running and everything seems fine, I will be able to ride to the show in the car with him. I just hope nothing falls through because I really have my heart set on going with him and I know that plans can sometimes fall apart... I just have to keep my head up and hope for the best.
And I'm ready for winter. With winter comes hot white chocolate from starbucks and cuddling under a blanket.
And of course weather that's below 80 degrees. Yuck.
September 4, 2010
Poem about DNA :)
4:27pm
So I figured I'll just put this as a separate entry :)
In Genetics, we had to write a poem about DNA and why it is the heritable material, drawing from ideas presented in class. I decided to write about the duo who performed a sort of "capstone" experiment to prove that DNA is the material that is inherited from parent to offspring.
Some background; for years, scientists and geneticists were constantly debating on what material exactly WAS being inherited from a parent to an offspring. They didn't know if the material was DNA or a protein. In 1953, Alfred Hershey and Martha Chase designed an experiment in which they took a little thing called a phage (or bacteriophage), which is a virus that infects and replicates inside a bacteria cell. The experiment that they did is really too elaborate to go into exhaustive detail about, but basically they put the phages in radioactive Sulfur (S) and radioactive Phosphorus (P). Phages are made up of a protein coat and on the inside of it contains the DNA. DNA contains P and not S, while proteins contain S and not P, so when they're dipped in radioactive S and P, the DNA will show radiation from the P and the proteins will show radiation from the S. The infection goes like this: The phage attaches to the body of the bacteria cell and injects it's DNA (as well as the P), leaving the protein coat behind and on the outside (along with the S). Therefore, when you look inside the cell and see radioactive Sulfur, you know that it is the DNA that is showing it. This led to the conclusion that it was DNA, not proteins, that are the inherited material.
If that makes any sense at all. It's hard to explain, but really it's an elegant yet simple experiment.
This poem is written as a three-versed limerick. Because limericks kick ass.
"The Story of Hershey and Chase"
In the same year as Watson and Crick
There came a guy and a chick.
It was Hershey and Chase
With bacteriophage
Which make bacteria sick.
It was either DNA or protein
Into the cell that was flowing.
Instead of S it was P
So Chase and Hershey
Said it was DNA that was showing.
A long time they ferreted,
But Hershey and Chase can be merited
That protein's not it,
They finally got it
That DNA is the stuff that's inherited.
Thank ya, thank ya very much.
:]
So I figured I'll just put this as a separate entry :)
In Genetics, we had to write a poem about DNA and why it is the heritable material, drawing from ideas presented in class. I decided to write about the duo who performed a sort of "capstone" experiment to prove that DNA is the material that is inherited from parent to offspring.
Some background; for years, scientists and geneticists were constantly debating on what material exactly WAS being inherited from a parent to an offspring. They didn't know if the material was DNA or a protein. In 1953, Alfred Hershey and Martha Chase designed an experiment in which they took a little thing called a phage (or bacteriophage), which is a virus that infects and replicates inside a bacteria cell. The experiment that they did is really too elaborate to go into exhaustive detail about, but basically they put the phages in radioactive Sulfur (S) and radioactive Phosphorus (P). Phages are made up of a protein coat and on the inside of it contains the DNA. DNA contains P and not S, while proteins contain S and not P, so when they're dipped in radioactive S and P, the DNA will show radiation from the P and the proteins will show radiation from the S. The infection goes like this: The phage attaches to the body of the bacteria cell and injects it's DNA (as well as the P), leaving the protein coat behind and on the outside (along with the S). Therefore, when you look inside the cell and see radioactive Sulfur, you know that it is the DNA that is showing it. This led to the conclusion that it was DNA, not proteins, that are the inherited material.
If that makes any sense at all. It's hard to explain, but really it's an elegant yet simple experiment.
This poem is written as a three-versed limerick. Because limericks kick ass.
"The Story of Hershey and Chase"
In the same year as Watson and Crick
There came a guy and a chick.
It was Hershey and Chase
With bacteriophage
Which make bacteria sick.
It was either DNA or protein
Into the cell that was flowing.
Instead of S it was P
So Chase and Hershey
Said it was DNA that was showing.
A long time they ferreted,
But Hershey and Chase can be merited
That protein's not it,
They finally got it
That DNA is the stuff that's inherited.
Thank ya, thank ya very much.
:]
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