Stressed out, uptight, overworked, wound up

8:40 pm

I'm such a baby. I bitch and moan and complain because I'm SCARED of lab. I didn't even know that was possible to be scared of a room with a class in it.
I don't like playing around with chemicals.
I don't like lighting burners (it goes hand in hand with not liking flammable chemicals)
I don't like messing with gas (it goes hand in hand with not liking burners).
I don't like working by myself.
I don't like having Dr. Matthews come around and yell about stuff.
I don't like having to ask questions because I don't know if I'm doing something right.

and probably more things that I can't think of. All of these reasons make my stomach knot up and puts absolute dread in my body on Mondays and Wednesdays. It's probably the most childish and chicken-shit thing in the entire world. But that's all I am anyway.

I want to re-live Friday night. Most of it, anyway. I'll skip the parts that include almost missing the wedding ceremony, crying and beating the steering wheel because of almost missing said ceremony, and when I got forcefully dragged by the bride to get up on the dance floor and dance and sing with them. And also the part where I accidentally slipped up and compared the grooms' cake to Publix cake.... which makes me want to just sometimes never talk or say anything again because 9 times out of 10, I usually say something stupid. The parts I would like to re-live are, strangely enough, all the parts when I was with Red. It really was a lovely time getting to spend a trip with him. We're still broken up, but we cuddled in bed and I even slipped in a totally-completely-by-accident kiss. It was just purely out of habit, but it happened and that was that. Another thing I'd like to re-live are the sangrias. Yummmmmmmmmy.

So now I've pretty much wasted the entire day away and will now become Organic Chemistry's bitch for the night.